


those we leave behind

by llwydion



Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Gen, General Angst, POV: the ones Lance left behind on Earth
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-09-23
Updated: 2018-09-23
Packaged: 2019-07-15 21:32:45
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,298
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16071767
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/llwydion/pseuds/llwydion
Summary: Nadia is twelve years old, and her Uncle Lance is gone. Disappeared.She learns to cope, because she has to.





	those we leave behind

**Author's Note:**

> just a note of warning: i have not gotten to anywhere close to s7 yet (just barely finished s1 last week, and im going to be pretty busy in the future so here's to hoping that i can binge watch the rest some time soon), so if anything is canon-deviating then i apologize in advance

_Not all stars produce supernovas when they reach the end of their lifespan. Only the biggest, brightest stars do._

It is spring. Nadia is twelve years old, and she’s holding tightly onto her little brother’s hand. Sylvio is giving her dirty looks, and she knows he’s probably going to try to break free in a bit, but she clenches tighter and gives him the older sister look.

Papi and Mama trail behind them. Papi is carrying their brightly-colored umbrella over his shoulder and Mama is laughing at something he’s saying, which makes her look so bright and pretty. Nadia loves her Mama and Papi and, yes, Sylvio too, even though sometimes he leaves his toys all over the floor and Mama gets mad and makes them both clean up the room. Papi has been so quiet and sad lately, because of Uncle Lance.

Uncle Lance, who would make her cookies (“it’s a secret, ok, my little _princessa_? Don’t tell your parents”) and play with her dolls and bring her to the beach at night, his large hand enveloping hers with warmth, his other hand busy gesturing at the stars. Uncle Lance, who was the youngest of her Papi’s siblings, who was a fighter pilot at some military school, who knew more about the stars and the ocean than anyone else she knew. Uncle Lance, who had gone missing.

They still go to the beach as a family, but without Uncle Lance it’s just not the same. The usual games of beach volleyball and smash the watermelon aren’t as fun without his light-hearted laughter and infectious grin, and often Papi will begin a sentence with “Lance used to”, stop, and trail off into silence.

She and Sylvio splash around in the waves for a bit, but the color of the sky and the color of the waves just reminds her of Uncle Lance. All of a sudden, there’s a lump in her throat and her vision blurs, and before she knows it, Sylvio is staring at her with his mouth open as she bawls her heart out in the middle of Varadero Beach.

Mama comes and picks her up, cradling her gently like she is Sylvio’s age instead of the teenager she is, and she hugs back tightly.

* * *

_When a supergiant star exhausts the helium at its core, it begins to fuse larger molecules, starting with carbon and proceeding through the multiple layers of the star itself._

(Her Papi had come to pick her up after school, which was different all on its own. Usually he would be at work, and Mama would come by. But here was Papi, in his car, waiting out in front of the school gates.

As soon as she climbs into the car, she can tell something is wrong. Her Papi, who is usually loud and boisterous and cheery, is quiet. His mouth is set in a straight, hard line, and his hands are gripping the steering wheel so tightly that his fingers are going white.

“Papi?” she asks, her voice not much louder than a whisper. “Papi, what’s wrong? Where’s Mama?”

He looks at her in the rearview mirror, and his eyes are sad.

“Oh, my dear Nadia. Dear, dear _princessa_.”

She’s afraid. She has never seen this side of her father, this strange, quiet man with fear in his eyes. The rest of the car ride is silent, and soon they are pulling up by, not their usual tidy apartment building, but by Grandmama’s large, rambling house by the sea. She spots _Tio_ Marco and _Tia_ Veronica standing out by the porch steps. _Tio_ Marco is smoking – something he rarely does now, though Papi used to tell them stories about _Tio_ Marco’s wild younger days, back when he rode motorcycles and chain-smoked cigarettes and he and Grandpapi fought all the time.

Now Papi tells stories of Uncle Lance, with eyes that reek sadness and fear, and Nadia is reminded, once again, of how her uncle is learning how to fly fighter planes so many miles away, and their time together is restricted to a thirty-minute phone call once a month that needs to be shared amongst the many, many members of the McClain clan.

 _Tia_ Veronica waves as she climbs out of the car and runs towards her. She has always been Nadia’s favorite aunt, all long-limbed and cool grace under fire and steely grey eyes that turn greenish when she’s happy. Plus, she gives the best hugs. But now her eyes are stormy blue, and she gives Nadia a brief and almost hard hug before shooing her inside with her Papi.

Inside, Mama is talking on the phone in hushed, frantic tones with _Tia_ Rachel, Grandmami is crying silently, tears sliding down the lines of her handsome face and into her white handkerchief, and Grandpapa is staring out the window at the sky, his eyes moving from point to point as if he’s looking for something hiding up there.

“What’s wrong?” Nadia asks, and Grandmami turns mournful blue eyes on her. Her voice, when it does appear, is like the creak of old wood.

“It’s your uncle, Nadia. Lance, he’s gone.”)

* * *

Nadia doesn’t cry.

She can’t.

* * *

_The final stage begins when the star begins producing iron. Fusion continues until the iron core has grown so large that it can no longer support its own mass, and the core will suddenly collapse._

At school, it’s like nothing has changed. Her teachers drone on and on, the kid behind her falls asleep again in math, and her literature teacher stares down his nose at his class full of rowdy, hormonal teenagers as they try to discuss Shakespeare.

She doesn’t understand. Her uncle is gone, has been gone for two whole months, and yet the world moves on like nothing has happened. It’s like her uncle was nothing more than a blip on the map, a tiny spark that burst into existence, warmed her entire world, and disappeared as fast as it appeared.

They’re starting astronomy in her science class today.

Nadia wanted to be an astrophysicist, once upon a time. She still remembers her uncle’s excitement when she told him, just the two of them on the beach with the stars above and the waves lapping at their ankles.

 _That’s a glorious goal, my Nadia, and I hope you’ll remember to invite your old Tio Lance when you graduate with your astrophysics degree_.

She shoved his shoulder then (her Uncle Lance, who has always been taller than her in her memories). He squawked and flailed for a moment before turning on her and tickling her until she couldn’t breathe from laughter. They return to Grandmami’s house, dripping wet and sandy, and she screeches at them tracking dirt all over her newly scrubbed floor.

But Uncle Lance is missing, has been for two months, and her science class is starting astronomy.

Somehow, it feels wrong for her to be learning about her favorite subject here while her uncle is gone.

She asks her teacher for a pass to the nurse’s office and spends the rest of the period there instead, curled up on the cot, staring at her conjoined hands as if they held the secrets of the universe.

* * *

_This sudden collapse will trigger a shockwave that blows the rest of the star outwards in a supernova._

It is summer, and Nadia wants nothing more than to collapse onto her rickety bed in their cool, air-conditioned apartment. But here they are, in Grandmami’s (tragically) old house instead as Mama and Papi are sitting on an airplane, on their way to Arizona.

She rolls the syllables around on her tongue. A-ri-zo-na. Where the Galaxy Garrison base that Uncle Lance was stationed at is. Where Papi and Mama are going, and _Tia_ Rachel. And because they’re going for two whole weeks, they’ve left Nadia and Sylvio with Grandmami, all the way on the other side of town away from their nice, air-conditioned apartment.

Nadia thinks she’s going to melt into a puddle in this sweltering summer heat. The ocean, which she could see if only she raised her head and stared out of the window, is blue and cool and inviting.

An idea begins to form in her head, and she skitters next door to convince Sylvio that yes, going to the beach right now, with just the two of them and maybe Grandmami, sounds like a great idea.

Grandmami goes with them, and they walk down the street towards the beach, their flip-flops barely any protection against the heat rising off the hot asphalt. They pass the corner store, where old Juan waves at them from the shade of the storefront and offers them popsicles for “the low, low price of 10 pesos!”

They make a stop, and soon continue on their way, furiously trying to eat their popsicles before they melt. Then at the end of the street, the asphalt gives way to hot sand that burns their soles and has them dancing towards the water.

Nadia sticks her toes in and sighs in relief as the water cools her burnt toes. Then she remembers that night on the beach, the last one before her uncle’s departure for the Garrison, and suddenly there’s this heaviness in her chest. The ocean doesn’t look inviting any more. She lets her popsicle fall into the water and watches as the waves eat the artificial yellow ice away.

“Grandmami, can I go back to the house?”

Grandmami shoots her a sharp look, but something in Nadia’s face makes her gaze soften and she nods gently.

“It’s alright, _hija_. I miss him too.”

Nadia nods, her throat tight and swollen, and she turns around and runs all the way back to the house without stopping.

She runs up the stairs and locks the door to her room and lies back on the bed.

Arizona. Papi and Mama.

Uncle Lance.

Her pillowcase is wet with sweat and tears by the time she is done, and she heads downstairs for a glass of water.

She runs into Grandpapa in the kitchen, who takes one look at her tear-stained, blotchy face and draws her in for a long, fierce hug.

* * *

_A supernova blows away the star’s outer layers, leaving behind some sort of remnant. The core is compressed into either a neutron star, or a black hole if the star is very large._

It’s been almost a year since Uncle Lance disappeared. The staff at the Garrison were understandably unwilling to divulge any information on his disappearance or their current search efforts, and so the constant silence has dragged on for months.

Papi’s face has new lines carved into it, especially around his mouth and eyes. They seem eternally sad now, and he’s started sprouting silver hairs. Mama has stopped laughing entirely. Some days, Nadia will crack a very funny joke, or Papi will make a sly dig about one of his coworkers, and her mouth will turn up in a smile, but never once since Uncle Lance’s disappearance has Mama ever laughed.

Nadia’s new goal in life is to make her Mama laugh again, and she and Papi are united in this. They try many things – putting food coloring in Sylvio’s lunch, which makes him screech when he opens it (Mama is not very amused by this, and they both receive a stern talking to), pulling funny faces (the one that has Mama closest to laughter is the one where she pulls down her eyelids and sticks her tongue out, in imitation of Uncle Lance), and trying light-hearted pranks.

It’s not the same though, not when they all feel Uncle Lance’s absence like a large hole in their lives. Some days, Sylvio will wake up with tears in his eyes and go running to Mama for a hug, or Papi will sigh deeply at the breakfast table as he looks out at the blue sky, or Mama will be washing the dishes and suddenly stop, wander out of the room for a few minutes, and come back slightly sadder. Some days, Nadia wakes up and doesn’t want to get out of her bed. Her heart feels too heavy to lift, and on those days Mama will usually call the school and have her excused for the day.

Nadia has started wearing darker clothing. More blacks, dark blues, dark reds; anything that is muted and dark. They match what she feels like inside, and it’s also a tribute of sorts to Uncle Lance’s missing presence in her life. Her mother doesn’t say anything to this, and instead supports her wholeheartedly in this endeavor.

It’s almost spring again. It will soon be an entire year since Uncle Lance disappeared. And though the trees outside are preparing once more, and the birds are practicing their songs like they do every spring, Nadia has changed.

* * *

It is spring, and there is a comet in the sky unlike any other. It’s almost like something is making atmospheric re-entry (and there is a traitorous part of her brain that whispers hope into her ear).

Two days later, they get the news.

Uncle Lance has returned.

* * *

Nadia first sees him at the end of the road, walking up from the ocean like it was any other normal summer day. The heat waves blur everything, and at first he is just an indistinct dot on the horizon. Then he gets closer, and she sees the blue eyes, the wayward strands of hair, the typical McClain nose and mouth.

“ _Tio_ Lance!” she calls.

He starts running.

She meets him halfway. She is almost as tall as he is now. He is space-pale, lean, and there’s a new scar on his chin.

And for the first time in a long time, the tears that run down her cheeks are happy ones.

**Author's Note:**

> come find me on discord: jmoon :)


End file.
